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I waited for six years for this movie.

Scratch that.

I waited ten years for this movie.

As an X Files fan, I waited over a decade for a movie that would pick up and untangle the mess that was 1998’s Fight The Future – a cluster f**k of a movie if I have ever seen one.

Now it’s the summer of 2008 and I have a new X Files baby to scrutinize and cherish and yet…something seems so different.

Ten years ago, I was a wide eyed 14 year old X Files nerd who owned everything from action figures to badges. The creators of this pop culture gem could no wrong in my eyes. The cluttered and seemingly mythology pointless FTF seemed so damn cool to me that I begged to see it twice. It didn’t matter what happened in that movie – it could have been Mulder and Scully hanging wallpaper and holding hands and I would have stared at it like it was the best thing since Birth of a Nation.

It sucks to grow up.

So I walked into The X Files – I Want to Believe expecting to be disappointed because, let’s face it, that’s what Chris Carter does to his fans. He puts out everything you ever wanted on the character/story table and then just as you reach for it, he pulls it back and throws it into the garbage.

The man is the ultimate character tease.

Shockingly, I walked out of the Thursday midnight release neither disappointed nor shocked by what the movie was. You know why? Because when your expectations are so low it’s not too hard to meet them.

Was the case the “edge of your seat thriller” Carter & Company kept saying would take fans back to XF origins?

Of course not. I will give him props by saying that he brought back the gruesome factor the show left behind in latter seasons and the movie did have its share of creepy moments. A seasoned veteran of so many sci-fi and horror films, I was pleasantly surprised that I could still be creeped out by a few scenes in the film.

The X File itself is actually a mass of jumbled plot lines that never seem to pan out beyond a nicely wrapped up conclusion. Carter must think the fans will suck down whatever they can get because he totally phoned in this weak and convoluted plot that only serves to bring Mulder and Scully back into the paranormal fray.

Did I just say paranormal? *Looks around questioningly* wasn’t this movie supposed to be a paranormal thriller? No…forgive me for listening to you Mr. Carter. I guess this mess of plots you grabbed from Frankstein and Silence of the Lambs and tied together with a weak physic archetypal figure just oozed the paranormal. Sorry to have to break it you Chris…you need to try a little hard next time.

All this negativity, you might wonder what the hell I liked in this.

The answer is simple.

Mulder and Scully.

These two flawed characters never seem to annoy or grow tired to me and I think this film demonstrates that the chemistry between David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson is alive and kicking. When they are on screen, your eyes are held and they take the most bland and sappy dialogue and make it work. That folks is the sign of a good actor and actress who can make something work despite a poor script and sloppy direction.

Here are two characters that have grown and matured since we last saw them six years and they have an emotional and personal comfort level they never have before. They actually freaking listen to each other and care what the other thinks – the concept that Mulder not only cares what Scully thinks but asks her is shockingly refreshing to me. They live together simply as “two people” as Scully points out and yet, these two people can never just be the “I’m home honey” types. The darkness that both characters come to realize follows them is what you would expect to follow the paranormal’s unwitting archangels. The acknowledgement of this darkness and the inescapability of it for these two characters is something Carter finally embraces in them and does well in bring it out despite the deep script flaws that fight it.

As a “shipper” from the beginning who always wanted Mulder and Scully together, it was a little jarring to see the two of them kiss each other sweetly and spoon in bed without any major emotional crisis to spark it. It’s like getting the bike you always wanted for Christmas and you remember that you don’t know how to ride it – it’s scary but ultimately fun. I have read on countless message boards how disappointed fans are that there wasn’t more M&S action in the film (and I know the kind of action they are talking about.) My answer is a simple one – have you all learned nothing over the years? Carter gave us in three scenes then he did in nine seasons and you still want to complain? The truth is that fans can never be totally satisfied and I think even Duchovny and Anderson have realized this.

Sorry to all my fellow Philes, but you need to take what you can get.

So what else was there to celebrate?

1. No CGI – This is movie is totally old school and missing all the bells and whistles of modern action movies and thank god. It’s dark, gritty and bleak and fits perfectly in cannon X Files world.

2. Kick Ass Scully returns – After the two seasons of watching this strong and in control woman become a weak and sappy crybaby, I was glad to see Scully return. She has her own interests and career independent from Mulder and yet, embraces her femininity in a way we have never seen before. She patches up Mulder’s wounds and cleans up the mess he stumbles on and still manages to cry one prefect tear drop. What can I say? Welcome back Scully.

3. The return of Walter Skinner. When an entire theatre erupts like rowdy five year olds when the familiar bald profile appears, you realize just what an unsung hero you have. Totally underused here, I honestly wish he had more of a chance to impact the plot. It’s obvious that Carter wants to reinforce the father to children dynamic that is alive in the relationship between these three characters. He comes easily into the film, does his job alongside Scully, kicks ass, and then departs. Nice to see you Walter.

What I could have lived without:

1. Scully’s research methods – Google? Google? I mean seriously…I know you were just plugging it for them, but the woman could have cracked a book or journal when she is searching for stem cell information. And since we are on the subject – I think it’s amazing that a forensic pathologist is now a qualified brain surgeon, pediatrician, and all around medical authority. I know Scully can save the world but I guess Carter wants us to think that now she could even cure her own cancer if it returned.

2. Amanda Peet and Xhibit – The less said about these unimportant characters the better. They were on screen too long for me and I was so glad when they left.

3. Lack of plot continuity or resolution – I guess that’s self explanatory.

But in the end, I have to stop my whining and bitching because this movie did get it made and it is both a slap and a valentine to fans. This dark and gritty film allows the audience to explore aspects of Mulder and Scully as a team and individuals they have not before. See this film for the sheer joy reliving the glorious past of two characters that fascinated and infuriated fans across the globe.

And keep in mind this is Chris Carter we are dealing with and be thankful. We all know it could have been much worse and thank you Gillian and David for making the best out of it.

Back to nerd land.